I should be happy. It’s a warm summer night, I have a beer in hand and there’s nobody around to bother me. Well I’m NOT! Every time I turn on ESPN all I see is stinkin baseball. To some this might be a dream come true but for me it’s a nightmare. You might disagree, you may even think I’m un-American for not loving our favorite pastime. So be it. Baseball sucks and here’s why…
Or should I say lack thereof? Why would anyone follow K.C. or Pittsburgh? And if you do, allow me to end your misery…Your team will NEVER win a championship. There’s no disputing the fact that small market teams are at a distinct disadvantage. Unlike the NFL (where a publicly owned team in Wisconsin can win it all) major league baseball does not provide an even playing field. In my mind, this is just un acceptable. It goes against everything sports are all about. And that leads me to…
Money Can’t Buy Love
But it sure as hell can get you a trophy. The NY times had an interesting chart about payrolls and how they correlate with winning. It shows that in the past decade only one team in the lower half of payroll has brought home a title. And the winningest franchises in that span? That would be the Yanks and Red Sox of course. Just so happens they are also the two teams with highest payroll. (and its not even close)
In politics and business, money buys you victories. Call me crazy but I like to think of sports as slightly better then that. Take money out of the equation and let the best damn team win.
Games are Meaningless
162 games in a regular season?! Are you freekin kidding me? Is that really necessary? When you play that much, each game is meaningless. There’s no value in a win, no sense of urgency. We just got smoked tonight but oh well, its only mid season, we have 99 more chances to get it back.
Say what you will about the bowls but the greatest thing in college football is that one loss is devastating. Every game truly matters; every play can decide whether your season is a success or a disappointment. I don’t think too many people in Cincy were crying themselves to sleep last week when the Brewers took them out with two runs in the ninth.
There’s no Strategy
Baseball fans will argue till their blue in the face but come on…. See ball, hit ball. Sure, you can go back and forth about when to use a suicide squeeze or put in the closer but it’s nothing like the complexities of football. A single play requires more choreography and planning then an entire 9 innings of MLB. Even basketball with its mere 5 players demands more preparation and strategizing then baseball. Lets be real here… When’s the last time you saw a manager bring the team together and take out a dry erase board?
And the #1 Reason Baseball Sucks is…
It’s BOOORING! By the 7th inning stretch I’m stretched out on the couch sleeping. I will say this, it’s a great place to take a date. There’s not much to distract you, and a lot of time to work your charm. Not exactly a great argument for the MLB faithful but I guess its better then nothing.
Im sure by now there’s a whole lot of baseball die-hards fuming. Well go ahead, let me have it. Tell me why im wrong. Crickets?…….. Yup, that’s what I thought.